"God agrees to postpone apocalypse until after Christmas", reports Doyle Redland of the Onion.
Sounds pretty good to me. I was born in winter, so an eternal fourth season wouldn't hurt much. As long as I can still go to Wal-Mart, it's all good.
I mean, it just wouldn't be in the holiday spirit to have ground zero on the 13th. But why would God even agree to such a thing? We've trashed his planet, killed a fairly large number of animals, waste energy, and basically drink, swear, and have pre-marital sex a little too much. I love the idea of the Easter Bunny offering, but that, I don't think, is a good enough reason. He obviously doesn't get gifts from Santa, since he originally planned the due date for the Earth before Christmas. And I don't think colored eggs can sit on a cloud. So, maybe the Earth was just like my previous website—a complete disaster. All those dead planets out there don't seem to mind oblivion, anyway. Why should we be an exception? It would be over in a flash, and nobody would live to remember what it was like. Fashion and entertainment would be obsolete, and mirrors would probably be blown to bits, so who cares if you look horrible? Woohoo!
