1-800-S***

You all remember SatNav, right? Well here's "SatLav". 

It's a bathroom finder. 

That's right, and for only 25 pence ($0.52) you can text "Toilet" to 80097 to find the closest restroom in central London. 

"When I'm out with friends we're always ducking McDonalds or department stores too use their loos, but we feel a bit bad about it", says Gail Knight, inventor. "I thought a text service would be really useful for people on the move". 

This has to be one of the funniest and strangest things I've seen since the Hello Kitty toilet paper dispenser. 

Doeth Thou Beeth Thy Meaty Bread Pile?

There's a new blogthing survey where you can find out what kind of sandwich you are. 

It be here. 

Apparently, I am a ham sandwich. 

You Are a Ham Sandwich

You are quiet, understated, and a great comfort to all of your friends. Over time, you have proven yourself as loyal and steadfast. And you are by no means boring. You do well in any situation - from fancy to laid back. Your best friend: The Turkey Sandwich Your mortal enemy: The Grilled Cheese Sandwich

What Kind of Sandwich Are You?

Yes, I am a ham sandwich. 

The funny thing is, I don't like ham sandwiches. In fact, they happen to be (IMHO) utterly boring. I like turkey sandwiches, though. Eat 'em almost every day for lunch. But nothing tops a good croque-monsieur or a prosciutto sandwich. 

Putting on the Ritz!

Ahh, a classic scene. One of my favorites. Haha . . . 

Wincing the Night Away

Bought this one last night at Barnes & Noble while looking for Justice's, Cross. Well, I didn't find that, but I ordered it anyway. Quite a good album, this one is. 

The Shins—Wincing the Night Away

1. Sleeping Lessons
2. Australia
3. Pam Berry
4. Phantom Limb
5. Sealegs
6. Red Rabbits
7. Turn On Me
8. Black Wave
9. Spilt Needles
10. Girl Sailors
11. A Comet Appears. 
    

Christmas at Ground Zero . . .

"God agrees to postpone apocalypse until after Christmas", reports Doyle Redland of the Onion. 

Clicky

Sounds pretty good to me. I was born in winter, so an eternal fourth season wouldn't hurt much. As long as I can still go to Wal-Mart, it's all good. 

I mean, it just wouldn't be in the holiday spirit to have ground zero on the 13th. But why would God even agree to such a thing? We've trashed his planet, killed a fairly large number of animals, waste energy, and basically drink, swear, and have pre-marital sex a little too much. I love the idea of the Easter Bunny offering, but that, I don't think, is a good enough reason. He obviously doesn't get gifts from Santa, since he originally planned the due date for the Earth before Christmas. And I don't think colored eggs can sit on a cloud. So, maybe the Earth was just like my previous website—a complete disaster. All those dead planets out there don't seem to mind oblivion, anyway. Why should we be an exception? It would be over in a flash, and nobody would live to remember what it was like. Fashion and entertainment would be obsolete, and mirrors would probably be blown to bits, so who cares if you look horrible? Woohoo! 

Car Trouble

A German man forgot his car at the gas station, on Friday. Apparently he rolled his car in, filled up, paid, and then forgot about the whole thing and walked home. The car sat there blocking traffic and slowly topping off the tank for about an hour before a clerk inside the station became suspicious and called authorities.

"He just forgot about it and walked off home", said a spokesman for police in the western city of Wuppertal.

Then the 63 year old man from Remscheid came back to fetch his car.

'Nuff said.

10 Recently Bought Songs

The last ten songs I've bought from iTunes—or ripped from a CD, in some cases. 

1. I'll Believe in Anything—Wolf Parade
2. Falling Man—Blonde Redhead
3. Be Good—Tokyo Police Club
4. Don't Speak—No Doubt
5. My List—The Killers
6. Uncle Johnny—The Killers
7. Sam's Town—The Killers
8. Fluorescent Adolescent—Arctic Monkeys
9. Space Oddity—David Bowie
10. Kernkraft 400 (Sport Chant Stadium Remix)—Zombie Nation